This is my new friend Rokie (Row-kee-ah, roke like 'poke', and -ia like the end of 'Maria', now say it five times!). She got married into a family in our village on Sunday, and I finally got to meet her today. In Shqip (the local language - say it how ever you want!), she is called a 'nuse' or new bride, and the title comes with responsibility. Traditionally, she would stay in the corner of the room, with her eyes down, not looking or talking to anyone, serving tea of coffee, but, thankfully, times are changing, and I get to see her smile at me and hear her voice. Every family treats their new bride a little differently, and some are still expected to act with tradition, but Rokie was able to be involved with all that we were doing. Without going into length about all of the traditions, suffice it to say that she has gone through mild culture shock this weekend, and to look into her eyes and wonder what she is feeling is something that I can't help but do. What does she think of her new family (along with hubby is hubby's entire family)? Does she love her husband, or will she come to love him eventually? Does she even really like him? And, then we come to the stuff that I'm not even sure girls here think about: What does she dream about? What would she like to be when she grows up? What makes her smile? And, then, my heart just melts and I come to the personal side: What would she do if I hugged her? Would she cry, and tell me how scared she is? How can I touch her heart and share my heart? How can I share Christ's heart with her? But, the problem with my friends in Kosova is kind of like their make-up. As you can see very easily, there is a lot, and this is normal and constant. I've only seen one of my friends without make-up once! They're not like me. They don't go around in their pj's until 1 in the afternoon on Saturdays. They always have make-up covering the true, honest, simplistic features of their face - the parts I really want to see. And, they never reveal the true, honest, and simplistic parts of their hearts, either. There is so much tradition and pride that is wrapped up in that 'make-up' that I don't really get to see the real them. But, I am working on it. It is my own personal quandary. One day, maybe I'll just stun one of them and give them a great big hug, a really, full soaking one that just covers them with warmth. I'm truly considering it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Rokie
This is my new friend Rokie (Row-kee-ah, roke like 'poke', and -ia like the end of 'Maria', now say it five times!). She got married into a family in our village on Sunday, and I finally got to meet her today. In Shqip (the local language - say it how ever you want!), she is called a 'nuse' or new bride, and the title comes with responsibility. Traditionally, she would stay in the corner of the room, with her eyes down, not looking or talking to anyone, serving tea of coffee, but, thankfully, times are changing, and I get to see her smile at me and hear her voice. Every family treats their new bride a little differently, and some are still expected to act with tradition, but Rokie was able to be involved with all that we were doing. Without going into length about all of the traditions, suffice it to say that she has gone through mild culture shock this weekend, and to look into her eyes and wonder what she is feeling is something that I can't help but do. What does she think of her new family (along with hubby is hubby's entire family)? Does she love her husband, or will she come to love him eventually? Does she even really like him? And, then we come to the stuff that I'm not even sure girls here think about: What does she dream about? What would she like to be when she grows up? What makes her smile? And, then, my heart just melts and I come to the personal side: What would she do if I hugged her? Would she cry, and tell me how scared she is? How can I touch her heart and share my heart? How can I share Christ's heart with her? But, the problem with my friends in Kosova is kind of like their make-up. As you can see very easily, there is a lot, and this is normal and constant. I've only seen one of my friends without make-up once! They're not like me. They don't go around in their pj's until 1 in the afternoon on Saturdays. They always have make-up covering the true, honest, simplistic features of their face - the parts I really want to see. And, they never reveal the true, honest, and simplistic parts of their hearts, either. There is so much tradition and pride that is wrapped up in that 'make-up' that I don't really get to see the real them. But, I am working on it. It is my own personal quandary. One day, maybe I'll just stun one of them and give them a great big hug, a really, full soaking one that just covers them with warmth. I'm truly considering it.
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1 comment:
I think that you should give a hug--it probably wouldn't shock anyone in the village by this point! They know you! What is going on with the nuse in that house that we ate ate in '04, the one with the black eye?
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